Practicing Awareness of Microaggression

An acquaintance of mine decided early on that he wanted to be a doctor. He got excellent grades all through high school, did volunteer work at the local hospital, became an EMT, etc. while the rest of us were screwing around at the beach. He was determined to win a scholarship to Harvard, and he did!

Once he was finally away at college, he put a social life and / or relationship on hold and studied, studied, studied through 4 years of medical school. He graduated Magna Cum Laude from Harvard University – a tremendous accomplishment!

My mother in law, who is 83 and lives in the Baltimore area, was visiting recently when my friend came over to chat. I was telling her about his recent graduation from Harvard and she said “ I think it’s wonderful that they have that affirmative action program so everyone has a chance to get a good education” Suddenly, I realized that she just assumed that he had been given a scholarship to Harvard because he is black! I was so embarrassed!  Luckily, he has a great sense of humor. He just winked at me and continued chatting politely with her. Personally, I felt like kicking her under the table...

She’s really a nice person, though, and I believe she thought she was giving him a compliment – or at least congratulating him on his good luck. In reality, however, she was giving him a microinsult. She was minimizing all of his efforts and accomplishments by implying that opportunities had been handed to him because of his race.

The experience has helped me to see how easily and often anyone can be affected by discrimination, even in the smallest of ways, and when you would least expect it! That is why we must be super aware of what we’re saying or doing at all times, in order to treat others fairly.