I was at the beach with my niece, Cara, who has Down Syndrome. All of the children were surfing on small rafts. The waves were powerful, causing the children to lose their grip on the rafts over and over. Every time this happened to someone, nearby children would grab the runaway raft and give it to its owner. Fun!
I did notice some of the children occasionally stared at Cara, but that happens. What bothered me more was that no one would hand Cara her raft when she lost it. They would stop the raft from floating away but come all the way around her to hand it to me. Then they would go back to the group, often giggling nervously. I could see that Cara, who is extremely aware of others, was perplexed and hurt that they were avoiding her and laughing. I was embarrassed for her and annoyed that the children were turning her fun day at the beach into a cruel experience.
However, I knew these kids weren’t trying to be mean. They were just uncomfortable with an unfamiliar situation and didn’t know how to react.
I started to joke around with the kids to ease the tension, which helped. The next time someone brought Cara’s raft over, I said to her “Ok, here comes your raft, get it quick!” As the boy handed her the raft, I mentioned to him that she kept losing her raft because she didn’t know how to stay on like they did. I asked the crowd at large if they would show her how they stay on their rafts so well. All of them eagerly volunteered to show her. Soon they were having a great time showing off, and even helping her back on when she’d lose her grip. She greatly enjoyed the attention : )
I believe that involving the children in helping Cara turned this into a more equitable situation. The children went from avoiding contact with her and giggling about it to helping her - and that was a positive change for everyone.
Ellen,
ReplyDeleteI can recall a time when I was uncomfortable servicing children with special needs for a fear of hurting them and basically lack of experience. This story brought to mind the day that I started volunteerting for a local special needs camp in my city. I started this project to overcome my fears and become more comfortable over the summer break but now it has become a tradition that I look forward to every year. It has become a tradition in my family with my children volunteer not just during the summer but at every event that we can make it to that does not conflict with our schedule. I really enjoyed this story that you shared and glad that the children included Cara in their group. Great post!
Hi Ellen,
ReplyDeleteI felt sad just reading your story so I can imagine how Cara felt. I often wonder how does this sort of behavior derives so naturally amongst children. Thankfully, you were there to help guide the little one's into the right direction. I feel that you handled the situation perfectly!
Ellen
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing story. I'm so happy to hear that you helped the children feel comfortable with Cara. It reminds me of the time I took my husband's nephew to bible school. My cousin is the victim of shaken baby syndrome, so she has some challenges but it doesn't stop her in any way. Most of the children at bible school were from our church so they all knew about Haylee. Hunter, my husband's nephew, didn't know her. He started to snicker and make fun of her. I pulled him aside and explained to him why she is the way she is. He felt so ashamed of his actions and went to apologize to her. She told it that is was ok. The rest of the night they were inseparable and on the way home he had many questions about Haylee. It felt sorry for Hunter because he had never been taught how to act around others who had disabilities. He has grown to become more accepting of others who are different. He finds out more about them before he assumes anything about them.
Ellen,
ReplyDeleteWhat a great way to turn that situation around. Sometimes all it takes is education to teach about differences. This story warms my heart, because I think you may have influenced the way those children think in regards to people with special needs or who are different period. Thank you for taking initiative!