Practicing Awareness of Microaggression

An acquaintance of mine decided early on that he wanted to be a doctor. He got excellent grades all through high school, did volunteer work at the local hospital, became an EMT, etc. while the rest of us were screwing around at the beach. He was determined to win a scholarship to Harvard, and he did!

Once he was finally away at college, he put a social life and / or relationship on hold and studied, studied, studied through 4 years of medical school. He graduated Magna Cum Laude from Harvard University – a tremendous accomplishment!

My mother in law, who is 83 and lives in the Baltimore area, was visiting recently when my friend came over to chat. I was telling her about his recent graduation from Harvard and she said “ I think it’s wonderful that they have that affirmative action program so everyone has a chance to get a good education” Suddenly, I realized that she just assumed that he had been given a scholarship to Harvard because he is black! I was so embarrassed!  Luckily, he has a great sense of humor. He just winked at me and continued chatting politely with her. Personally, I felt like kicking her under the table...

She’s really a nice person, though, and I believe she thought she was giving him a compliment – or at least congratulating him on his good luck. In reality, however, she was giving him a microinsult. She was minimizing all of his efforts and accomplishments by implying that opportunities had been handed to him because of his race.

The experience has helped me to see how easily and often anyone can be affected by discrimination, even in the smallest of ways, and when you would least expect it! That is why we must be super aware of what we’re saying or doing at all times, in order to treat others fairly.

Culture and Diversity

I asked my cousin, who is 24 and in the Army, what culture is. He said it is your family traditions – how you celebrate the holidays, what you eat, what church you attend. As for diversity, he said that diversity refers to the presence of assorted races of people, not just whites.

I asked my fiancee’s 83 year old mother what culture is. She was born in France, grew up in Paris during the Occupation, and moved here as a war bride. She said culture is knowing who your ancestors were, how they lived, what was important to them. She said diversity is many people trying to live together in one world.

I asked my 82 year old neighbor what culture is. He is a widower who is living with his son and 4 grandchildren. He said it is finding out what is important to you about your family and about life..and then teaching your children and grandchildren about it.

I noticed that my cousin's answers were focused on the surface aspect of culture - the holidays, food, clothing, etc. However, the older people (my neighbor and fiancee's mother) seemed to recognize and appreciate the deeper culture i.e., extended family relationships, values, Intergenerational relationships.

On the whole, the answers were brief. I think a lot of people aren't really sure what exactly culture and diversity mean. Before entering this degree program, I probably wasn't either. I now know that culture has a lot more subtle aspects to it. Yes, there are the special foods and traditions..but there are also many values, ideas, beliefs, and roles that are related to culture.

Perspectives on Diversity and Equity

If I had to quickly move to another country and could only take 3 small things, I would bring:

1. My mini laptop. It has my friends and family in it. Once there, I would search every bit of that country until I found internet. So much of my daily interaction is conducted online these days that I could be in Siberia and, as long as there was internet, still remain in contact with everyone I care about.

2. My engagement ring. It reminds me of the good times in life to look forward to.

3. My Ipod, so I could listen to familiar music no matter where I was.

I would be pretty sad if I had to give up two of the items. I would choose to keep the laptop because it would do the most to keep me in touch with my old life in this country.

In doing this exercise, I learned that interaction with the people I care about  is more important to me than possesions are. Also, that people who immigrate to a new country must feel much like their former lives and friends have been stripped away. That loss would be extremely difficult to overcome.