Recently, I was in Dunkin’ Donuts behind a mother and her 3 -4 year old son. The boy was very friendly and talkative - told me his name, his mother’s name, his dog’s name. He even asked if I had children, where they were, etc.
The door opened and a man in a wheelchair rolled up to the next counter. The little boy’s eyes grew round as he inspected the newcomer. Suddenly, he loudly announced “Mommy! That guy has no legs!’’
“Shhhh!” she said. “Mommy, I mean it” he shouted again. “NO LEGS!!!”
His mother was clearly mortified. She bent down and sternly made eye contact with him. “Stop saying that right this second or we are walking out that door with no Munchkins” she hissed.
The boy looked very confused but wanted a donut badly enough to keep quiet. He watched every move the man made. As soon as his mother got the Munchkins and they walked out the door, I could hear him quizzing her about the man, the wheelchair, and the missing legs. She rushed him to the car, barely answering his questions.
Speaking from the perspective of an anti-bias educator, I would have realized that the child was just curious. I would have used it as an opportunity to help him understand that there are differences in people, and that it is ok. I would have said something like “Yes, he has no legs and that is why he has a wheelchair to help him get around. It takes him places just like your legs do”.
Insisting that children be silent about people who are different from them can lead them to fear diversity and develop bias at an early age.
Hi Ellen,
ReplyDeleteI agree that the mother should have explained that people are different and that a child at that age are going to be curious. If I were the mother I would have tried to answer the questions the best I could. Children need to learn that it is ok to be different and that people come in different shapes and sizes as well as some people need help walkiing (in this case the man needed a wheel chair).
Ellen,
ReplyDeleteThat's a great example. I may have reacted the same way years ago if one of my children responded like that. It goes to show that besides anti-bias education for children, parent programs are important too. Educators could teach the parents what the children are learning. That way the children's lessons will be reinforced at home.